Shameless Self Promotion

I am thinking that I might start a campaign to get myself a 'mommy makeover'. Now if you look up celebrity plastic surgery crap, you might see that a mommy makeover is actually a tummy tuck and boob lift; and while I could certainly go for that, I think I need more. Okay, I don't NEED bubkus. I have all that I could ever NEED, but let's face it...I WANT MORE--and I haven't even started!

Here's my thinking: I've done a good thing for myself and my family by losing so much weight (115lbs right now). I have probably added a few good years and reduced the cost of my healthcare in the future (until I get Alzheimers, but by then I won't know what's going on so I won't care). heck, I've probably reduced the cost of my current health care! So it kind of sucks that the insurance company won't pay for a tummy tuck...after all, they'd pay for all kinds of crap related to obesity--I think they should give me a reward!

But since they won't, I'll go to the public: HEY! I AM SAVING YOU MONEY BY LOSING WEIGHT! Really...it's not just MY health care premiums that I'm shaving, it's YOURS, too! And I'm still paying for YOUR BIG MAC HEART ATTACK! You don't think my bills are going down because I lost weight, do you?

Not only am I saving YOU money by losing weight, I'm doing more for society as a whole! I am more capable of volunteering to help people (not just CAPABLE, I'm actually out there doing it!) I am so much more energetic, that I am capaple of punctuating an entire blog post with exclamation points sometimes!

I eat less overall, so there is more food for the homeless! I eat more vegetables, so I am reducing my carbon footprint!

I don't think it's too much to ask to get someone to pay for a little plastic surgery and maybe a new wardrobe and some makeup tips! Think of how much more energetic I'll be when the anethesia wears off and I can get out there and help save the world without fear of slapping someone in the face with excess skin!

Aren't you glad I am not posting photos with this one?